That phrase perfectly captures what I learned during quarantine: FUNCTIONAL DYSFUNCTION
I am not certain that I have "coined" this phrase but I am certain that it perfectly describes what I saw with respect to my family dynamic. Now, to be clear, we were not and are not crazy terrible but, I saw something deficient in our dynamic that, honestly, shocked me. In all of the hustle and bustle of structured days of work, school, dinner, schedules, etc, you rarely have time to sit down and actually assess the temperature of things. In this way the quarantine was a blessing that gave space for such introsection; to really take stock of so much of our lives, souls, marriages and families.
I had decided early in the quarantine not waste it. I extended the time frame of my deliberate communion (personal devotions) and set aside six books that I was going to read. I was determined to fill this "extra time" with purpose. One day, while executing this incredible new plan of mine, I noticed that everyone in my family had been on their phones ALL DAY! At one point they were in the "family" room, but quietly navigating their phones. This, too, was ALL DAY! I realized then that which I could not see in the normal routine of our life, that we were disconnected.
We were functionally dysfunctional.
Since this "quarantine discovery" I have made significant adjustments in the dynamic of our family that have been a blessing. It's a challenge to restructure the functionally dysfunctional but, by the grace of the Lord, and some incredible humility from my young adult children, we are moving in the right direction.
The Functionally Dysfunctional CHURCH
This obviously caused me to wonder if the church has done the same thing. Are the current problems in our country inevitable or are they the fruit of a church that has learned to function in dysfunction? The church has come to a place of peace in this world such that we are dysfunctional in our actual calling to transform it. Our dysfunction has allowed the word's ways to infect, not only our lives, but even how we think about the purpose of the church.
We are extremely busy with budgets, systems, structures, leadership develop etc., all of which are needed and useful. Yet, with that focus we have lost focus of our purpose: to be light in this dark world. The social chaos playing out in our country today is because the church has fallen asleep at the wheel and, in our functional dysfunction, we have let practices and evil exist without challenge. What appears to be an awakening in the church today is actually the fruit of discovering of our own functional dysfunction. This is a blessing and a command from the Lord. We see it, we know it and now the question is this: do we want "normal" - what used to be or do we hear the Lord calling us to transformation?
The Functionally Dysfunctional YOU
What about you? When is the last time you took time - significant and thoughtful time - to study the motions of your soul, life and family? I think the problem with functional dysfunction is that so many live in it that we rarely recognize it in ourselves. It is our "normal" and too many of us are - were - all too eager to return to it (our normal). In speaking to others about this many of them have found that they were not only living in functional dysfunction but that they were devoted to it! Being busy was how they understood their worth and existence. Slowing down and having to actually hear ourselves, assess ourselves and spend increasingly more time with their families was challenging.
Maybe in your own walk with the Lord you have been living functionally dysfunctional. You've been reading the Bible and not growing but, still, you don't feel the sting of stagnation. Maybe you've been praying but not changing yet, you are content merely that you pray. Perhaps you've sat under the preaching of the Word but have not applied it to your life and your soul is still not hungry and thirsty for the Lord. This is what happens when we learn to live in functional dysfunction.
Here is the beautiful reality: we need not live here anymore.
We can make changes that will cause the fog to lift the dysfunction and give way to light and clarity of spiritual growth. What that looks like in our lives is different but in order to get to that place of change all of us need to ask, at the least, the following questions of application:
Are my affections and passions for the Lord and His Word increasing, even a little? - Or, am I a Sunday morning Christ follower?
Am I growing in my sensitivity to sin and intentionally seeking to kill it and grow in holiness? - Or, am I continually justifying my sinful actions and affections?
Am I longing for fellowship with people who love God and desire to live for God? - Or, am I too comfortable with those whose lives are not devoted to the Lord?
Am I organizing my life so that I can honor the Lord by being disciplined and orderly? - Or have I made peace with chaos?